One Friday evening in late August this year, Thavi sat inside a cozy café in Jumeirah, occasionally glancing at the doorway. She was there to host the first meet-up of The Spectrum Circle, a new community that she had founded to organise meet-ups for neurodivergent individuals.
Thavi, who also runs the events and marketing agency True North Marketing, had planned a fun evening that was peppered with activities that she had designed, and had also reserved space for about 10 people. But she would have been happy even if only two people had turned up — being neurodivergent herself, Thavi is familiar with the various mental hurdles that one has to cross to participate in such social situations.
Organising the event came with its own set of challenges. When she first put the word out about the group on Threads, some people mistook it for a community for singles and she had to filter through hundreds of messages. She had also reached out to at least four cafes to conduct the event, and their reactions ranged from exasperating to outright insensitive. “The first few cafes wanted me to ensure that everyone will order Dh50 worth of stuff,” says Thavi, but she wanted no such strings attached. Other café managers didn’t know what ‘neurodivergent’ meant, and the ones who did, didn’t want to provide space. “The moment I said the word ‘spectrum’, I could see their tone and attitude change,” she adds.
Back at the café, eight people trooped in. They mingled through ice-breaker activities where they shared one interesting fact about themselves that wasn’t related to work, as Thavi wanted to reject the “standard script” of regular networking events. There were other, smaller games too that encouraged one-on-one interactions. “I had made it very clear that there was no pressure whatsoever to participate,” says Thavi. “You can come to the event and sit quietly the entire time too if you want.”
Thavi is one of the few people who have launched such spaces for neurodivergent individuals in the UAE, where they can socialise, relax and unwind. They act as judgement-free zones where they can ‘unmask’ — often described as a process where they don’t conceal their neurodivergent behaviours or traits to appear neurotypical — and interact with like-minded people.
Creating safe spaces
Dice and Divergence is ‘a relaxed boardgame night for neurodivergent adults’ that’s held on Wednesday evenings, although “the plan is for this to grow into a proper little community”, according to its website. As per the event’s details that are listed on Meetup and the group’s website, the first game was scheduled to be held on September 23 at tile Board Game Café and participants could choose between red, amber and green badges to signal whether they were ready to mingle. (The host declined to be interviewed for this article.)
Sarah Youssef launched Neuroaffirm Hub in November last year. The idea, she explains, is to conduct about five different meet-ups a month through the community.
Youssef hosted the first edition of one of its meet-ups called ‘Walk & Talk’ this month at Boon Speciality Coffee Roasters in Dubai Hills Mall. When we speak a day later, she explains that participants could grab a coffee and walk around the mall either alone or with others — she chose this activity specifically because talking while walking side-by-side with someone reduces the pressure of having to maintain eye contact.
Eight individuals showed up, mostly in their 30s and 40s. One of them, says Youssef, got teary-eyed from the relief of being able to let her guard down. There was no formal agenda, and individuals were free to follow what suited them best — for instance, some of them began walking alone but returned to connect with the rest. A few stayed back after the walk to get to know each other. “It was meant to be an hour, but we ended up being there for hours,” she smiles.
Youssef is neurodivergent too, as are her children. “And in that journey of navigating it in our own home, in the school and everywhere, I just felt like it was quite lonely and isolating… so I decided to have this platform where people could come together, show up, not feel judged, and have a safe space,” she explains.
Getting real
Naveed Sayed started ADHD Mastery: Support and Solutions last year but took a long break before returning to resurrect it this year. The group meets in various cafes at the Mall of the Emirates every Saturday afternoon. “Some people who attend have autism, giftedness, bipolar disorder, or borderline schizophrenia. And we’ve had people from all over the world — Egypt, Sudan, India, Japan, Pakistan, Ukraine,” he says.
The meet-ups are an occasion for the participants to socialise, exchange information about the best doctors, tips to survive the workplace and even share job opportunities. “We also talk about our struggles in the corporate world with completing tasks and being punctual,” explains Sayed. “Several members support themselves financially by starting their own businesses or becoming investors as it was agonisingly impossible for them to survive the corporate world,” he says, adding that he hopes to conduct “dopamine and adrenaline-filled events” like picnics, board game events, bowling and padel in the future.
Source: Khaleej Times